Sitter och skriver lite på kapitel sexton på boken. Har varit en paus nu eftersom jag klumpigt nog glömde blocket i Bellas kiosk under en period. Men nu är det på gång igen, och jag har skrivit klart kapitel femton och skrivit tre sidor på kapitel sexton. Sakta men säkert!

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I went outside on the porch and sat down on the stairs, leaning my elbows on my knees and my head on my cupped hands. I stared out down the road and at the nearby houses, all of them holding the same quality as Adam’s parents’. When we had first arrived I had honestly thought that this couple of weeks would be filled with fun and a time out from reality, but I realized now that it would be just like in London with me being pissed off at Josh for ignoring me, and ignoring Dave because of his bad behaviour. The scene had changed but the plot and the characters remained the same.

 

It bugged me that I could be so naïve to even think that it would be different as long as we were somewhere else than home.

 

“You stupid girl,” I muttered to myself.

 

“You know, it’s considered a mental illness to be talking to oneself.”

 

The sudden noise made me jump and as I did so I looked over to see who had snuck out on me. The voice I heard matched the face I saw when my heart had calmed itself down.

 

“Wanker,” I said and turned my gaze away from Josh. He sat down beside me and took his cigarettes from his pocket, in his other hand he held a beer. “You starting early or what?”

 

“It’s been a long drive, you want one?” He offered the packet to me and I shrugged and took one out. He lit his cigarette and then handed me the lighter. After that we just sat silent for a while, smoking our cigarettes and gazing out on the scene before us. It reeked of awkwardness, and it didn’t get any better when he turned to me with a confused look and said, “What’s with the cold shoulder this morning? Are you angry or something?”

 

This was the perfect opportunity, the moment I had been waiting for to tell Josh all the emotions that rushed around in my body regarding him and his shitty attitude. It was the perfect opportunity for us to have the talk and solve things between us so that we could go back to normal, because it was obvious that it would never be anything romantic spiraling. It was the perfect opportunity, but as usual I fucked it up.

 

“I was just tired, it was early…you know.”